General Riddles

I am soft and transparent. I am so small that you can keep me on your fingers. I have no light but I help you to see the beautiful world. I improve your vision only when I come in contact with you. Who am I?
Contact Lens

The captain of a ship was telling this interesting story: "We traveled the sea far and wide. At one time, two of my sailors were standing on opposite sides of the ship. One was looking west and the other one east. And at the same time, they could see each other clearly." How can that be possible?
The marines were standing back against the sides of the ship so they were looking at each other. It does not matter where the ship is (of course it does not apply to the North and South Pole).

There are 17 pigeons sitting in a row on a wall. A boy shoots the fifth pigeon. How many pigeons remain?
None. Explanation: They all fly away at the sound of the gunshot.

What happens when an elephant sits on a chair?
It's time to buy a new chair!

The anagram of this phrase is an instrument used in the orchestra. What is it? A bliss nectar
Bass clarinet

As I was going to the mall I met a man with seven wives, Each wive held two bags, Each bag held a mother cat, Each mother cat had six babies, How many people where going to the mall?
One! As I was going to the mall I met a man...

I cannot speak but I tell everything. I am not a tree but I have leaves. I have hinges but I am neither a door nor a window. Who am I?

What has an eye but can not see?

I can be long, or I can be short. I can be grown, and I can be bought. I can be painted, or left bare. I can be round, or I can be square. What am I?
Fingernails.

I'm sometimes white, But most often I'm black. I take you there, But never bring you back. What am I?
A hearse.

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