“Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last but feelings come and go. And in fact, whatever people say, the state called ‘being in love’ usually does not last. If the old fairy-tale ending ‘They lived happily ever after’ is taken to mean ‘They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married,’ then it says what probably never was nor ever would be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were. Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships? But, of course, ceasing to be ‘in love’ need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense — love as distinct from ‘being in love’ — is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be ‘in love’ with someone else. ‘Being in love’ first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. it is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.”
“Love is essential for happiness, but the person who loves so deeply that his or her happiness is placed entirely in the hands of another, resembles the little lamb who crept into the den of the nice, gentle little wolf and begged to be permitted to lie down and go to sleep, or the canary”
“Somebody needs what you have to give. It may not be your money; it may be your time. It may be your listening ear. It may be your arms to encourage. It may be your smile to uplift. Who knows? Maybe just like that little baby, putting your arm around somebody and letting him or her know that you care can help begin to heal that person’s heart. Maybe you can give a rescuing hug.”
“This does not mean that God never heals in miraculous ways; I am certain that at times He does. But there are also many times when He does not. We cannot understand why some people appear to glide effortlessly through life, while others always seem to be in the throes of pain and sorrow. We cannot explain why some withered bodies are healed, while others suffer and die. We cannot know why some prayers are answered the way we hoped they would be, while others seemingly go unanswered. We cannot pretend that life in Christ will always guarantee us victory and material success as defined by human standards. On the other hand, when we tell only the stories of victory, we tell just a part of the truth. When we imply that the Christian faith involves no yoke and no burden, we tell less than the whole truth. Half-truths and easy answers are the weapons of deceit. Sometimes God brings healing, either through modern medicine or through miraculous means. But sometimes He doesn’t—and His way is always best, because He loves us and knows what is best for us. Never forget: for the Christian, this life is not all, nor should our physical well-being be our life’s highest goal. Christ is our life, and someday we will go to be with Him for all eternity.”
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